It got me wondering.. I always complain about my boobs being small. But whenever I think, breast augmentation? Mehh. Too much hassle, not worth it. I think my eyes are small, but getting an epi (procedure to enlarge eyes)? Too scary and painful to consider. So the fact is, there are parts of my body I dislike but I don't want/feel like changing because it's not worth it for me. But my nose? Hell yes in a million fantasies I dream I go on some reality show which gives me a beautiful nose and I'm so goddamn happy everytime I look in the mirror.
Then of course, are all the possible side effects/complications. Implant extrusion, infection, nose becoming crooked, nose becoming like Michael Jackson's (!), or the fact that I could need to have more surgeries in the future to correct the implant. Worry, worry, worry.. At the same time it is very true that there is ALWAYS a rate of something going wrong, and it is up to you whether you want to take the risk. It is not a YOLO matter. But then I realised, even if I worried myself away and persuaded myself NOT to go it, then I would still be unhappy with my face. Instead you could say I would rather be off treating my nose problems (in the event that infection/extrusion occurs) than living with my old nose.
Another factor is whether I should let anyone know if I did it. At first I was all Xiaxue and thinking I would Instagram my post-op nose, before after pics, and let people touch my nose to see how hard it is and all that bollocks. And then I had doubts. What if I ever want to run for election in the future LOLOL what will happen to people's image of me.? Plus there are still people like my own classmates who are very against plastic surgery.
So I've decided that if I do it, I won't tell anyone unless they ask. Because strangely, I don't feel many people will quite notice someone's change in height of nose unless I go extreme which I won't, I will only go natural. If some random stranger asks me why is my nose swollen I might even lie and say "Got into an accident" rather than tell the truth because sometimes it is hard for people to hear that you have gone for surgery. People will be going all "Are you stupid?!" "You should have done it later in your life" "I would never have done something like that."
But hey, since you really want it, there's no time better than the present right? It's time to put all the courage on the table and GO FOR IT. Since you really want to change it, there's no bigger regret than not doing it sooner. I'm not seeking for anyone's approval, I doubt my own boyfriend or family approves. I'm sure whoever has a tattoo would understand my feelings about this.
Also, people who say "Accept what God gave you": Why be happy with something you hate but are naturally born with if you have the ability to fix it? Isn't it the same as makeup, and dyeing my hair, painting my nails, wearing contacts? How come people can go for laser surgery to correct myopia when they can just "live with it" and "accept it" but they are not criticized?
So that's it. A short post to explain why, in the coming few months, I might become a totally different person with a higher sense of confidence albeit just a small facial change. I am looking forward to this change, I am excited, and anxious, but on top of that I finally feel like I'm going to be very happy, happier than I am right now.
Thanks everyone for reading.
Labels: Happy in the Rain
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&the time is 4:28 AM
posted by Ena ♥
