I hate people who are stupid. "Stupid" is just another word for lazy. I hate people who don't ever give a fuck about trying hard to get what they want in life.

I hate people who have no goals in life and don't know what they want. They live day from day without anything concrete in the future to aim for. Worse is, I hate people who claim that they are happy to lead a simple life and they are content with daily blessings because AIM BIG, don't be satisfied with such a meaningless existence.

I'd rather people are unhappy with their horrible lives and unsatisfactory jobs and strive to improve than be content with being stuck in a dreamless nutshell full of "simple pleasures".

Maybe I judge too much but life is short. Different people might want different things, true, but what person aims for just a simple happy life and nothing more? People who say life is more than riches, fame and career and it could be just simple pleasures like living in a hut and drinking well water and planting your own crops.

Those are the kind of people I hate.

I guess if the world was completely full of driven people there wouldn't be a social hierarchy.

Labels: Angry in the Rain, Wisdom in Rain

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&the time is 10:10 AM
posted by Ena ♥

I've been beating myself up too much over finals. I've been slacking, not having the old discipline I had during SPM. When I would study for hours at end, and punish myself if I didn't finish my goals, if I didn't have a productive day, I would starve myself, I allowed myself no TV, no internet, and even brought my books into the shower and propped them on the toilet seat LOL.

But now?

Honestly I miss the old times. I was more kiasu, yes, more bitchy, more selfish, but at least I was good. Even now, I think I can sit for SPM and still do well. I remember random facts from Moral, Sejarah, and all these subjects I pored over and I think in a way that's good that my memory still serves me well and I have plenty of free trivia in my head but it wistfully reminds me of just how good I was in Form 5 compared to now, when I am basically nothing compared to all the other smart people here.

I guess if you think you are good, there is at least a million people better than you. I am sad over how my finals haven't been shaping up well. I've gotten too comfortable. Before this, I used to excel at exams. But now I've grown too used to the assignments and whatnot and I feel really awful about myself.

Anyways, a few of my friends came up to me suddenly and told me how much they love me blog and they spent hours reading it and even told me not to be sad and so on and it REALLY touches me and it makes me happy that people actually read my blog and I'm really glad =)

One more thing to blog about in this random post is that people online who get annoyed when others post personal things annoy me. There are two kinds of people, those who think that if you post stuff about say, your period or any shit online is too personal, and if you rant it's TOO annoying, and apparently the internet can only be used to discuss politics, sports, interesting, deep, and meaningful stuff and not personal stuff. Well then I have nothing to say except that it's not you who dictates which domain I have to act smart and which I have to act personal and friendly.

Labels: Random and Weird in the Rain

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&the time is 11:58 PM
posted by Ena ♥

Yes I have finals soon and I'm still chilling online and I spent the whole night out haha I AM SCREWED. Well I'm gonna hope for the best and do my best since luck has not been on my side this past week. I'm broke from spending gifts on lecturers and I seriously hate one of my lecturers fml curse you but I'm finding time to blog!

Just got back from Maths workshop and I'm super tired. Some pictures from the past week:

Bio class.

Chem class!

Lynne and I and Miss Nancy, the chem lecturer!

Huansen and Alex, chemistry mates.

Beloved Mr Mustafa and other of his students, proudly showing off the tie and chocolates from us (:

A little bird! :)

That's all kthxbye.

I'm happy now with how things are. Please don't tell me you love me, because that will ruin everything. Please don't.

Labels: Daily Rain, Happy in the Rain, Life in Rainy School, Vain and Bimbotic in the Rain

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&the time is 1:46 AM
posted by Ena ♥

Yet I can't find the motivation to study. Anyways, picture post! Of me hahahaha camwhore queen. Snippets of my life mostly from the ipod touch!

was bored one day.

pink and red hair!

silly faces (:

random outfit

turtleneck for school!

me and lynnie

my mocha cookie crumble! <3

my very gay friends! (gay means happy!)

A very short-lived manicure. stupid flowers all came off.

my study table T___T

a happy bowl of snowflakes :)

Hamsters!!!!!!!!!!

Avengers.

My avengers outfit!

My Battleship outfit!

Me and Marcus Tam <3 !

Random outfit again

Bio presentation outfit :)

Outfit last night minus the heels.

Labels: Daily Rain, Life in Rainy School, Vain and Bimbotic in the Rain

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&the time is 3:53 AM
posted by Ena ♥

Anyone who knows me knows that i have a fear of commitment. I spend all my time pretending I don't care and regret it afterwards, but I can't force myself. When I like someone's company beyond just the "oh he's so cute haha i like him" and he shows something back I just feel like running away and freaking out cause I can't handle the pressure. Cute texts, cheesy names, sweet couple pictures. It's not that I don't like them, sure when you're in a relationship this all gives you the fuzzy feelings.

But what's the point of a relationship when it'll end up you hurt someone or you end up with a broken heart? All this while I've just bear with it and forced myself to reply and so on because it's NORMAL, it's EXPECTED, and I don't want to be the weird girl who's alone cause she hates texting and so on. Of course, once I get in a relationship, it's different. Which is precisely why I don't want to get in one.

I expect everything to be happy, and perfect, when I'm in love and in a relationship. I pick fights and get angry. And I don't want that. I like being single for the first time, no fights, I like being alone, it makes me feel strong. I don't want to get in a relationship because I don't want to have my entire mood depend on ONE PERSON and I'll be so dependent on ONE PERSON who can let me down any second. It all freaks me out which is why. Every girl likes commitment, but I never did, in the beginning I just forced myself to be sweet back, then after that we start planning out future blabla which just HURTS more when it's all over.

Don't commit, it's the best way to protect your heart.

Labels: Wisdom in Rain

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&the time is 6:55 PM
posted by Ena ♥