I guess some people might think I am a very kiasu person. Why do I always want to be better than others, why can't I be content with what I have?
Well, failure is never an option to me.
I don't come from a rich family. I come from what I can even say is a poor family. We have enough to eat and pay bills, that's all. Nothing more for luxuries, vacations, new cars or shopping sprees. My parents can't afford to send me abroad for education. They can't even pay a few thousand to send me to a private university. So I'm grateful I have free education now.
I don't blame them. Circumstances forced them into not having enough education to make life better. I grew up seeing how being poor really was. Back when my dad's business was booming, my aunts and cousins constantly came over, with gifts of soup and herbs and so on. After he suffered losses, now they barely even acknowledge him.
My mum bred me growing up with the thinking that, the only way people are going to respect you if you're rich or gifted. So since an early age, I know that I'm going to work hard and show everyone, "hey I'm not rich, so what? I can still be better than you. " I'm going to get so filthy rich till everyone will be begging money from me or my parents. And everyone who has ever looked down on my parents, well they're going to be freaking jealous that their daughter has made millions for them.
Poor people work harder. Is that true? I don't know. But all I know is that education is so important to me. That's why I want to be better than everyone in studies. I have been the source of my parents' pride. I took their words to my heart. Everytime my mum told me a story, she'll say "Girl, must study hard. Mummy and daddy have no money. That doesn't mean you can't get a better life. Must study hard, so people don't look down on you like they look down on us. You must prove them wrong and have a bright future."
That's why I detest people who take life for granted and who throw away education like that. Maybe different people have different skills. Maybe they're better off working and quitting school right? But still. I just treat them as stupid idiots.
I've heard people say, "Wah, you people aren't rich, but quite lucky to have a brainy daughter in your family!" It's both flattering and stinging at the same time. I'm going to show them, fuck you, I'll be a fucking millionaire, and I'm going to be great. Just watch.
I'm not using a sob story to instil any moral values or whatsoever. I think even if I was rich, I'd still study hard because I'm just driven that way. But because I'm not, I don't take it easy. I don't expect my parents to be able to bail me out if I fail, or for them to buy me expensive stuff, I know how to think for myself. Life is short, and you require ambition to live a full life. Think I'm being intense? You can be carefree and so on. But in 10 years, let's see.
So yea, I'm going to be as smart as I can, as good as I can, and I'm going to make everyone know that I come from a good family, whether we're rich or not. I'm polite, I know culture, and I'm going far in life. I'm not smart, but with a will there's a way. No one is looking down on me ever again. Mark my words.
Labels: Wisdom in Rain
1 comments
&the time is 5:17 AM
posted by Ena ♥
