There must be truth to what Xiaxue said in Pysche of A Plastic.

She stated that when an ugly girl gets plastic surgery no one really bothers. But when a pretty girl gets it everyone starts insulting the said girl.

I must admit I was shocked when I heard that Qiuqiu was getting a nose job. Precisely because her old nose was wonderful the way it is. When XX got her nose job, I understood, cause her old nose was really ugly. But Qiu? And some more, I don't get the feeling that Qiu hated her old nose. But she just jumped on the PS bandwagon. Well, I admire that she just wants to upgrade herself higher and higher but since she didn't hate her old nose in the first place I just think it's a little dangerous because there are so many risks of extrusion and so on to her nose and it could turn out her new nose is much worse than her old, pretty nose.

But then again, it is her choice. Lol.

It is precisely 5 more days till I am back in KL and life resumes. I hope I won't be too awkward and damaged by isolation by then. I would really like to find some good friends this year. Like best friend-worthy friends.

 
0 comments

---

&the time is 11:56 PM
posted by Ena ♥

I have been talking about getting a nose job forever since I was like 8 and I knew the existence of such a procedure. My uncle has one. Whenever I take pictures I think, damn that'd look good if I had even a remote side profile! I sincerely dislike my nose.

It got me wondering.. I always complain about my boobs being small. But whenever I think, breast augmentation? Mehh. Too much hassle, not worth it. I think my eyes are small, but getting an epi (procedure to enlarge eyes)? Too scary and painful to consider. So the fact is, there are parts of my body I dislike but I don't want/feel like changing because it's not worth it for me. But my nose? Hell yes in a million fantasies I dream I go on some reality show which gives me a beautiful nose and I'm so goddamn happy everytime I look in the mirror.

Then of course, are all the possible side effects/complications. Implant extrusion, infection, nose becoming crooked, nose becoming like Michael Jackson's (!), or the fact that I could need to have more surgeries in the future to correct the implant. Worry, worry, worry.. At the same time it is very true that there is ALWAYS a rate of something going wrong, and it is up to you whether you want to take the risk. It is not a YOLO matter. But then I realised, even if I worried myself away and persuaded myself NOT to go it, then I would still be unhappy with my face. Instead you could say I would rather be off treating my nose problems (in the event that infection/extrusion occurs) than living with my old nose.

Another factor is whether I should let anyone know if I did it. At first I was all Xiaxue and thinking I would Instagram my post-op nose, before after pics, and let people touch my nose to see how hard it is and all that bollocks. And then I had doubts. What if I ever want to run for election in the future LOLOL what will happen to people's image of me.? Plus there are still people like my own classmates who are very against plastic surgery.

So I've decided that if I do it, I won't tell anyone unless they ask. Because strangely, I don't feel many people will quite notice someone's change in height of nose unless I go extreme which I won't, I will only go natural. If some random stranger asks me why is my nose swollen I might even lie and say "Got into an accident" rather than tell the truth because sometimes it is hard for people to hear that you have gone for surgery. People will be going all "Are you stupid?!" "You should have done it later in your life" "I would never have done something like that."

But hey, since you really want it, there's no time better than the present right? It's time to put all the courage on the table and GO FOR IT. Since you really want to change it, there's no bigger regret than not doing it sooner. I'm not seeking for anyone's approval, I doubt my own boyfriend or family approves. I'm sure whoever has a tattoo would understand my feelings about this.

Also, people who say "Accept what God gave you": Why be happy with something you hate but are naturally born with if you have the ability to fix it? Isn't it the same as makeup, and dyeing my hair, painting my nails, wearing contacts? How come people can go for laser surgery to correct myopia when they can just "live with it" and "accept it" but they are not criticized?

So that's it. A short post to explain why, in the coming few months, I might become a totally different person with a higher sense of confidence albeit just a small facial change. I am looking forward to this change, I am excited, and anxious, but on top of that I finally feel like I'm going to be very happy, happier than I am right now.

Thanks everyone for reading.

Labels: Happy in the Rain

0 comments

---

&the time is 4:28 AM
posted by Ena ♥

Today I'm going to be blogging about a short DIY project I undertook this morning :D

Things you'll need:

A furry sticker

Scissors

A phone case you don't like or wanna revamp



The shop I went to had a ton of choices! I liked the one with hearts, but Mom said it was too childish LOL.

Anyways I chose this classy print of a panther?leopard?jaguar?



This is a plain Eggshell phone case that I thought I'd revamp :)

 

 



1) First, draw out the rough outline on the back of the sticker. It's easy as pie even for someone who sucks at arts and crafts. Well, it's fine to go too little or too much because you can always snip off the extra or add on an extra piece. It's not an exact art :D



3) The back piece all cut out!



4) Cut out the camera hole. As you can see there is some space along the edge! Just stick on a small 1mm wide piece to cover it up!



5) As said scrap piece used to patch up the bare areas.



6) Don't forget that small strip of plastic that you face when you aim your phone towards you! Don't neglect that or it will be very ugly.



7)All done!





Some other things I've decorated before is my calculator :D It's been pink and furry for as long as I can remember (3-4 years??)





Have fun decorating, everyone! :) FYI, these stickers are about 3 ringgit for an A4 size and 1.50 for a notebook size :)

And these stickers are peel-able, but they're stickier than hell and would probably be really hard to tear off. Have never tried though!

 

Labels: Daily Rain

0 comments

---

&the time is 7:19 AM
posted by Ena ♥

Have you ever felt an intense feeling of self hate? When you look in the mirror and you just hate and hate on your appearance.

I feel so threatened all the time by pretty people, I look up to them and loathe them at the same time. Growing up I have always felt so ugly. I'm extraordinarily small and skinny and unattractive, and I still have these anxiety issues all the time even now. I can't walk in public places alone. I am petrified, and I feel everyone is STARING AT ME, and I can't put one feet ahead of the other, I trip over my own feet, and I don't know what to do with my own arms, do I swing them? put them in my pockets?

It's the stupidest thing you've heard right? Forgetting how to walk when you're anxious. How about forgetting to breathe? I'm always so breathless when talking to strangers because I forget to breathe. I can never relax, I am always so anxious. I'm not sure if I'm bordering on anxiety disorders. I used to have panic attacks when I was growing up, from 8 till I was 15. I had these QUIET attacks where the world seems so scary all of a sudden, and my stomach muscles clench up and then I will ball my fists tightly and try to breathe till the feeling passes. And no one knows, except for the few times it happened in a mall with my family, and my mum was calling me and I was just frozen in spot.

I sound like a nutjob. I have these little quirks which I'm not sure are OCD or whatsoever, like I need to count the number of streetlights on each street when I drive down one of them. Or the fact that when I'm watching something I memorise the subtitles and if I don't get it in my head I replay and replay the scene and only proceed to the next scene when I've got it memorised in me. That is why I take so long to finish a series, and also the reason why I like going to movies or watching TV, because no one can slow it down for me so I relax and enjoy it instead of being anal. Sometimes the subs are so bad in cinemas that I actually relax because they are so bad I wouldn't understand them anyways.

I don't like smiling because I hate my teeth. I have horrible, ugly, deformed teeth and I wish I never had to open my mouth because I look so pretty when my mouth is closed. I had a bad orthodontic experience growing up, had too many teeth extracted, and I didn't know better. My family never considered braces either. I have big buckteeth. One of my worst problems has been corrected: a 60degree rotation of one of my front teeth, but still it's not a pretty sight. I think people are appalled when they see my teeth, and some ask me if I smoke, and it takes every ounce I have not to cover my mouth and run away, but I just say "No, these are just natural stains from my sucky ass genetics" and smile with my mouth closed.

I have an ugly nose, a flat chest, no height to call mine, and in fact there's not one thing I like about myself. I have an ugly neck, ugly limbs, ugly fingers and toes, and I wish if I was to be reincarnated I would be born into the body of a better-looking person, because sometimes I feel it's all that matters, when you can look in the mirror and like what you see.

Labels: Sad in the Rain

1 comments

---

&the time is 11:55 PM
posted by Ena ♥

May I present to you..... One of the star finds of 2012!



This must be by far one of the best eyeliners every! I haven't owned many, but a lot of them were flukes.

I owned a Face of Australia eyeliner, and it was one of the blackest eyeliners I'd ever owned. I own a few other liquids but they were all suckish, they'd fade to an ugly gray in a matter of hours. My Essence gel liner is okay as well but of course it's not as precise as a liquid eyeliner.

Before this, I'd tried out some rather expensive eyeliners (for me) like Clio Kill Black (because my shop sells Clio) and Dolly Wink.



They were really good eyeliners, they stayed on and was black and easy to use. But I can't justify paying 60 bucks for an eyeliner especially that I've seen how fast the Clio dries up. Not only that, it is a felt tip liner and not a brush liner (as in composed of tiny bristles like a brush) and after a while of use the felt tip gets kind of wonky (like a whiteboard marker's tip gets kinda soft and bends downwards) and it gets rough and hurts your eyelid.

I was recommended by a colleague to try the Maybelline Hyper Sharp as she claimed she goes clubbing and it still won't budge! So I went ahead and purchased one for only RM 19.80! 

I must say it is an AMAZING eyeliner and I've recommended it to my makeup artist colleague and she's happily purchased 2 since then!



It has a very slim brush tip that is soft and will never be rough against your eyelids. The ink flowed perfectly from the first time I bought it (compared to a shitty Revlon Colorstay eyeliner I bought that was a felt tip and it was gray and the ink would never come out and if it did, it was in splotches. I bought it for 28 bucks ON SALE because I thought Revlon would be a good brand. It isn't. It is like a ballpoint pen that just stubbornly won't work no matter what you do.)

It is very easy to use. The tip is quite soft and flimsy but in a good way, but if you're inexperienced or have shaky hands, it might be hard for you because the tip is so soft that if you bend your hand in a weird way the tip will also bend and yea you get an uneven line. But I use it to get into hard to reach corners and also to tightline and I LOVE IT! Mainly because I believe in super fine eyeliner and I never go for thick eyeliner.



Please don't judge my face, LOL. Look at my eyes! :)



And another close up shot. Some wonkiness occured but it isn't too bad. I have very rough wrinkled eyelids with many small "dots" on them so whenever I use eyeliner it spreads among the lines and dots on my eye but I think only I have this type of problem. Look how tight the line is :D

And look at my mole. It used to be a pimple, and it turned into a mole. WTF I was like "Moles popping up means skin cancer" but Mum dismissed me and wouldn't even look at it.



Swatches of the eyeliner. It's not a comparison, just two fun swatches to let you see how an eyeliner SHOULD perform. If only all eyeliners are like this ! But they aren't, some are horribly expensive and sucks to high heavens and everytime I buy an eyeliner I'm so worried because I'm a cheapskate and I do not want s sub-standard product .



Best of all is the STAYING POWER! This baby will not smudge or fade throughout the day! It might go a little light at the tail ends, but it stays on strong. One thing I notice about pencils or liquids is that the portion closest to the lash line where you tightline it, disappears at the end of the day even though the upper line stays strong. SO by the end of the day, you look like you put on eyeliner without tightlining and there's a huge gap of flesh where the eyeliner disappeared probably because that part of the eye is the wettest.

But it doesn't happen with this baby! And my eyelids are so oily that I can vouch that this is AMAZEBALLS in terms of staying power. Even in the pool or at the beach or in the shower. I did a mask with the eyeliner on (forgot to remove) and it didn't come off. With water and rubbing, it only flakes marginally (no smudging, just flaking). Maybe not as strong as Clio or Kate, but then no way you will even rub your eye half as hard as I have to try to remove it.

So let me rate this:

Intensity: 4/5 (It's black enough actually and you can layer on to make it blacker!)

Ease of Use: 4.5/5 (Soft and flexible tip for maneuvering into the deep corners!)

Drying time : 4/5  (Dries faster than a puddle of water in the Sahara)

Staying power: 4.5/5 (Slept overnight in it, went swimming in it because I kiasu must have eyeliner on even in the pool, and it stayed!)

Packaging: Don't know how to rate, like that lor. No problems with it so 4/5

Price: 5/5 (Everyone can afford 20 bucks on this man! It's wunderkind! and I've used it for 3 months, haven't dried on me yet, though it has for my colleague because she draws on very thick eyeliner, like an inch high.)

It's easy for touch-ups, I keep it in my bag for anything, and I love that no matter how I store it, ink is also running smoothly. Dolly Wink's eyeliner doesn't flow right unless you've kept in upside down for a time.

So that's all, thanks for reading, and let me know if this eyeliner worked for you!

All pictures taken on the iPhone 5

Labels: #cosmetics, beauty, liquid eyeliner, Rainy Reviews, Reviews, revlon colorstay

0 comments

---

&the time is 7:55 PM
posted by Ena ♥

Hello! I'm here now to rant on how much I dislike my body.

I've never particularly liked my body. Stumpy legs, no boobs, prominent ribs. These days I'm trying to gorge more on food to gain weight because I can't stand how hard it is to shop anymore. Everything that I like, everything that I want to wear is almost impossible to find, because it's just too big and I'm just too petite and small and it hangs loose on me. Nothing fits me, and I'm tired of it. I wear a size 3 shoe, and that can't be changed. But I just want to gain some weight so I can finally fit into some nice dresses, finally be able to wear bangles and bracelets, finally wear rings without them falling off. Finally able to wear stuff without gaping backs or gaping sleeves and wear low cut stuff without showing the world every single detail of my every collarbone and ribs. (And not even a smidgen of cleavage fml)

I have a small frame yes, but I have no "meat". I'm just a skeleton, and I'm bony. I am gaining weight in the legs and tummy currently, hoping to gain some in my upper body soon.

But anyways, to follow up with my title:

Happy new year :)

Thanks to 2012, for letting me meet him.

Thanks that I learned so much and earned some money.

Thanks that I got my phone and it had no problems (whew).

Thanks that the world didn't end.

Hoping 2013 will bring greater things for me :)

Labels: Daily Rain

0 comments

---

&the time is 9:45 PM
posted by Ena ♥

I remember a time when I would force myself to sleep very late, at 6 am, or even later, when I felt most tranquil, just so I could wake up late, very late, later than 3pm if possible. Why? Because everytime I woke up, I was faced into this great wall of pain, and I would curl up and I couldn't get out of bed, and it would just hit me the second I opened my eyes and faced the day, that it was pain. To check my phone, to see nothing, to throw myself into the meaningless loop of wondering What can I do? What could I have done? If only. Why me? This shouldn't be happening. It hurts. And then I cry.

It somehow gets better throughout the day as I rewatch the same episode of How I Met Your Mother over and over again, and speed past the parts which involve kissing, and then I try to eat a meal, and by 12 midnight I talk myself into being strong, because I was so tired from crying all day. Then I get on FB or Tumblr, and chat with someone I barely know and unload my problems on them (they then never talk to me again) and cry some more, and then I tell myself ENOUGH then I rewatch How I Met Your Mother and actually laugh at some parts, and then I feel good, but sleepy, and I tell myself oh no it's too early, I'll be awake by 1pm, no no. Then I drag on till I collapse, and I wake again with a rested mind, which then begins whirring again until I bear it down and tire it enough to stop reminding me of the pain.

Life stopped for that period of time. I would take a flu med when I only had sniffles and then I'd be so overjoyed that I would be spending the day asleep. Sleeping, crying, watching sitcoms through a blur of tears, trying to read a book when a million thoughts raced in my mind.

I don't know what is happening now to me, no pain, but now I feel like crying at the drop of the pin. I should probably NOT be having my period because then this would be my 3rd period this month.

Labels: Daily Rain, Random and Weird in the Rain

0 comments

---

&the time is 2:06 AM
posted by Ena ♥

Days pass without thought
With no escape and no mercy
I feel dead inside

Meaningless routines
Define my life as of now
No point, no happiness

What I seek isn't here
What I need is deeper than
These days of dull toil

Enough! I say now
Of self pitying poetry
Which has broken rules

I'm not supposed
To write haikus like this
Because if you count

There are often 6
Syllables instead of 5
Lines that don't make sense
Or don't belong
Like this fifth line

I tried to storytell
But I failed miserably
So goodbye I say.
0 comments

---

&the time is 3:16 AM
posted by Ena ♥

Sometimes I think.. Why do I blog? To document what happens in my daily life? To express my thoughts ? For tutorials and reviews and telling people about me and my life and where I've been?

Should I blog at all? Life has been so dreary of late that I can easily let my blog die by not even writing anything in months on end.

So how have I been?

Bored, and pretty lonely these few days. Everyday's been work, home, sleeping, then work, home and sleep all over again, with almost no break in between. Been kinda upsetting that's for sure. Still the same old same old, trying desperately to get everyone's approval but failing, trying to get everyone to like me and failing.

But if you wanna hear good news, here it is! Small things can make my day, or ruin it. So now I'll let some pictures and funny (hopefully) captions enrich you on what's been happening to me ever since I survived the apocalypse (yea sorry, had to make a cultural comment there just in case any future civilization chances upon this and wonders about the high traffic on December 21st 2012).

So after months and months of reading up iphone forums everyday (yes my life is this sad) I got an iPhone! I sold my iPod back in November when I visited the bf and have missed it sorely. I almost died without Instagram for a month. I had to use an old Nokia phone for the week before the launching of the iPhone (14th December 2012!) but it was all worth it. My black 32GB iPhone is now the sole reason why I am blogging LOLOL it is the most significant thing in this post. It came with a small scratch on the top corner on the back, but sighs, it's okay. Bf got the iPhone too back in KL :)

I feel like a mother and its newborn baby.

Not really an audiophile, so the earphones are awesome to me.

Siri is my friend! foreveralone.jpg

First camwhore on the iPhone (I think?) I still am babying it till this day (Week 1) and wiping it every chance I get!

It goes downhill from here. Straightened my hair and cut it, to save my extremely damaged hair. Not gonna say much, I hate it, I miss my awfully long hair.

Did a manicure and pedicure out of boredom.

Winter's Solstice! Tang yuan day! Mine is the pink one and Pei's is the purple one :)

Just to show that I am better than the boyfriend in Words with Friends.

Plenty of sales on 22nd December, and I snapped up the Magnum and the Maybelline Remover for 50% off. Yay to Xmas sales!

Free bowl of Iglool too ^^

Boasting of my camera here haha

And it immediately leads to mis-usage of the camera for self-portraits.

Giant Christmas tree at Spring :)

Colleague and yours truly with Santa, Santarina and a bunch of thingamajigs because we sponsored them for makeup :)

This doesn't even look like me but it is!

Felt happy with my new mascara purchase as mascara has become my newest obsession.

This is my Face Shop Mascara for lower lashes that I got last Christmas for RM 20. A steal, and I've only really started using it this year.

My first Majolica mascara I got, it doesn't work as well as I thought.

Some mascara base I got at Holika Holika for 40% off.

My new charm bracelet that I got at the Boulevard Christmas fair :)

Lots of kuih lapis at the Christmas fair!

Purikura apps!

Pretty poodle!!

Heavily edited once more wtf.

Bought handmade jewelry :D

Freshwater pearl bracelet for only RM 15!

Sparkly anklet!

Got off work early to go Cotton On! Look at the bikinis!

Among the few that i tried on :) no pics cause then no one will ever read my blog again.

Padang Merdeka :)

A shoe I'm interested in!

That's all! Hope I'll be blogging more frequently now that I can upload pictures straight from my phone!

Labels: Daily Rain

1 comments

---

&the time is 4:12 AM
posted by Ena ♥