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♥
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
I don't even wanna care..
But I do. And maybe I'm the one who's pushed you away, but right now I'm trying so hard yet it seems like every little thing I do isn't going to bring you back.

Back when it was a fun fling when I could walk away anytime, when your words of commitment scared me, I could leave anytime, I was free, in control. And now? I care now. I care so much more. And as usual, he's changed.

You've changed.

I wonder why. Is it because I've said a blunt NO to all possibilities of sex so I'm not that interesting anymore? i hope it's not that.

No matter what I do, I can't get you back anymore..

Here I am, sitting around rejecting plans with my friends, spending the last couple of days in this place waiting for you to ask me out, to make plans with me, for special dates with me. But no.. I'm just wasting my time. Waiting.

When I was playing hard to get, he seemed to want me more. Maybe now I'm too available? I don't know. I wonder if he still loves me, at all. He's stopped caring about me, my health, my life, he doesn't really find me anymore, he doesn't talk much on the phone. I really don't know..

It's so much scarier now that I love him so much. I can just pray that I won't be so broken if he leaves. I wish I hadn't been foolish. To fall for you, eventually. I wish I'd walked away when I could..

Now I'm in too deep, and I don't know if anyone can save me from the inevitable heartbreak and pain. From caring too much about somebody who's already starting to stop caring.

Do you still love me? I dunno.

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&the time is 7:13 AM
posted by Ena ♥