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♥
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Unrequited Love
I don't even hope for you back, because I know you too well. I know you won't look back, and you'll forget me. You're just that kind of person.

I seem fine now, I'm trying to be fine. I want to be fine. So I ignore the pain, I laugh when it hurts the most, I smile when I'm dying inside.

I'm so messed up you know? I flirt around like crazy. 3 or 4 guys all chasing me and I'm encouraging them like some cheap player and what's the point? I know I shouldn't play around with feelings. And what's the point? I still feel so empty no matter if a billion guys call me dear and tell me they love me. I still feel lonely. Because they're not you.

But now I'm more self-preserving I guess? I get why you avoid me so much now. Because I remind you of bad memories. In the beginning I went to view your life through pictures and I cried so bad because I missed you and I was so out of your life. But now I stay away. I don't want to know about what you're doing, who you're seeing, because I know it'll hurt.

I know you like the back of my hand </3 and I don't know how to be me without you in my life. Why did you leave me during the time I needed you most? I remember everytime we fought, you'd come back and you never gave up. How did you go from that to being the guy who walked away from my tears? Every time you cried, I felt like my heart would break.

I miss being happy, I miss having you to count on. I miss our intimacy. It hurts to talk to you, but it hurts more not to.

Pretending I don't know you, don't care about you, pretending I never traced every feature on your face, pretending I never talked to you about my deepest secrets, pretending I never kissed those dimples, pretending we never existed and never loved each other.

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&the time is 12:48 AM
posted by Ena ♥