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♥
Monday, April 23, 2012
Overthinking
He makes me happy, he really does.

But at the same time, I have doubts. Of course I do. Do we know each other well enough? Do we have enough in common? Are we suited to be more than friends? Do I want to risk getting hurt again so fast after I just healed?

I'm also wondering if I'm just in love with the idea of being in love. I just broke up a few months back. My emotions are still in a tangle and though I'm over him, but I might not be over all the pain and suffering I experienced since he left. Am I moving too fast to commit again? What if I'm just feeling this to fill the empty void in my life? I don't know MYSELF. At the same time, I'm so tentative about every step afraid that I will slip and fall again or I'll feel that pain again.

At the same time, I don't want to just pretend nothing ever happened and just push away something that could actually turn into something just because I'm too afraid to love again. I have my shields up, but I think this time, he's different from the rest. But I always think that way of all of them right? That they're different, but in the end they always end up the same. As usual, I'm overthinking and that always ruins everything. Just taking things slowly and going with the flow.

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&the time is 2:22 AM
posted by Ena ♥