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Monday, June 6, 2011
I'm So Confused.
I went out with someone today. And it just reminded me of how empty I was. How much I missed you. Everything reminded me of you. I thought if I went out, found someone else to hold, it would all be ok, I'd heal. But it just felt wrong and I kept trying to push him away everytime he tried to hold me.

Everything just reminded me of you. How I miss watching movies with you.

Why did I push him away? It scares me that I am putting up walls.. That I'm so incomplete.

I was attracted to that guy from hospital (ahem). So maybe it's just no chemistry right? Or am I just incapable of loving again?

Everytime he tried to touch me, I would avoid it because it felt so wrong and as if I was cheating on you. Though of course, I'm not.

How do I get you out of my head? I just wish one day I can wake up and you'll be out of my head and I'll never think about you again.

Truth is, I can't live without you. I'm dying inside.

I just want you to protect me again. I do. I remember you telling me you can't imagine how your life would be without me and how devoted you were to me.. How you would never ever want me to leave because you need me.

So now, you don't need me anymore.

I'm not going to say you lied and I fell for it. Because.. I still believe your lies. I still believe we had love and I still believe I ruined it.

I don't want to hurt the guy I'm talking about in this post so I hope no one tells if I give you my password.

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&the time is 9:19 AM
posted by Ena ♥