I don't know how people know I'm blogging again but I've been getting msgs in my FB inbox, some a bit umm strange, and just to tell me they read my blog and cheer up. Which is nice, and thanks, but I'm a bit embarassed that I've been all cheesy and stuff =__= and am going to be for some time. I feel a bit shy to know people read this emo shit. And seriously, nothing anyone can say can comfort me. Everyone says, move on cheer up stay strong you'll find better etc. It doesn't cheer me up a bit.

He's stubborn as a mule and I know he won't change his mind, I suppose it's too late. If you love someone, let them go, if they come back to you, you're meant to be? All I know is now I can't even imagine myself with some new guy and being happy. Picture doesn't come to my head.



It's slightly funny how much I find fault with him last time and he never did. Reading my old posts, complaining because he didn't buy me some ridiculously expensive drink after I nagged him, being angry because he won't make me happy by spamming my FB wall, being angry when he's busy studying and can't text me because he isn't good at multitasking.

And he never said a single word about me or my flaws or me being naggy and annoying and comparing him to other guys and being unreasonable.

I miss you so much that I just want to go to a payphone, call you, hear your voice and hang up, That's how obsessively crazy I miss you and no, I'm not doing that. The last time I ever saw him was 11th December afternoon.

I miss you so much that I look at all your happy photos just to see your face in them even though it hurts.

I miss you telling me I look cute, I am gorgeous, I am sexy, and knowing you mean it.

I miss you complaining and being emo when you have a bad breakout, and I spend my time comforting you and telling you I'd love you even if you sprouted warts, but I can't help laughing because you're so sad over the pimple, and you get annoyed thinking I'm laughing at you.

I miss you standing up for me, and when I'm sad you're never good at cheering me up, but your effort always makes me smile.

I miss your random comments that make me laugh till I cry. I miss teasing you about being Andy Lau, about Taylor Lautner.

I miss telling you how handsome you are, and hearing you groan.

♥ I love you to this very day, though you put me through hell this past month.



Is it possible that I think about you SO SO much, and you don't think about me even ONCE at all? Life is cruel. It hurts when I see couples on Facebook or in person and I HATE THEM because they remind me of what we used to be.

You'd rather forget than start another painful road with me. I'd rather forget too, that you ever existed, but I freaking can't. I can't get over you now. I can't leave it all in the past.

I never realized how much I hurt you, I never put myself in your shoes. Now I make you think love is stupid and you don't need it, I made you bitter because loving me brought you so much pain you're scared of being in a relationship anymore. Which sucks worse than you running off with some girl. I brought so much drama to your life that you will hate me forever.

You basically made it clear enough that you don't love me and i mean nothing to you anymore. So I do get it. I guess. Maybe it's possible for you to stop loving me so fast. Maybe you stopped loving me long before we broke up. I asked a guy friend is it possible to stop loving someone you've been with for so long and used to love, without even a bit of feeling left? He said :

so why i emo right not like he cares lol but I just am.
0 comments

---

&the time is 9:36 PM
posted by Ena ♥