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Friday, January 21, 2011
Dedicated to my Friends:
I know you guys have been worried about me lately. I've been worried about myself too. Thanks for all your support, even though some of you have been harsh for my own good.

I hope that all of you can support me right now. I don't mean like helping me on some wild goose chase for him. I mean just not pushing me or scolding me. Because I'm not blind, or stupid or crazy. I know he doesn't love me anymore. I know he doesn't care. I know he's moved on.

I know that even if he gives me a chance, it won't be the same already. I'm so insecure now. I'll be worried everything I say or do will make him leave. I suck as a girlfriend. I know. Unless we both try hard, it won't work. I'm scared as hell already.

And I know he's not trying.

I know some of you guys must think I'm stupid, he's out there having fun while I'm blogging emo about him. Yes, it's stupid. But right now, I still love him. I'm adjusting to life without him. Sometimes this aching sense of loss accompanies. So please, don't ask me to move on or let go, because I'm trying my hardest already. I'm crying inside all the time.

It may be hard to let things go, no matter how hard you try. Instead, learn how to live with it. Try to understand the way that things are.

He told me harsh things like get a life and leave him alone. He doesn't feel a thing at all even after thinking all the memories. He don't love me even a bit and he won't want the old gf back. He said the past is the past, and farewell. And shut up. So I left him alone.

I regretted how I treat him. I regret not making him happy. I regret that I make him hate me till he can't stand even the thought or sight of me. Because of my own selfishness, insecurity and drama, and my princess complex, I drove away someone who loved me.

I know I can do nothing and change nothing. So yeah. :( Hope you guys can stand by my side. Talking about it helps a lot.

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&the time is 9:53 PM
posted by Ena ♥