I was going through my beautifully written angry/emo posts back in October and September and wished I could still blog that way. I'm sure you're all sick of me blogging about my personal life and crap like that, but still. Here's an excerpt from my life.
Do you ever think that in a relationship, both of you must have the same goals? Or do you think if you love each other, everything will just work out? Like for example, one party wants to get married and have kids, the other doesn't. Who tolerates the other? How about other differences? Wealth? Religious views? Views on society? Views from society? Interests? What if one has an intense hobby in race cars or singing and the other utterly loathes it and you hate that he/she doesn't share the same interests?
Don't say it doesn't matter, because it does. You don't know it, but everything matters. A wrong word, a painful argument, a few tears, an ignored protest. Love is great but love can't overcome everything if both of you aren't "sehaluan". For it to work out, there are other factors too. Everything matters.
I'm not so naive now that I believe that that love is so great that it can solve any obstacles that pop out. It's all based on forgiveness and tolerance, but I don't think I am that mature yet.
There are some things that are all I've ever wanted in a relationship, which is just to be showered with affection and love and have a comforting shoulder or a comforting hug when I'm upset. Without me having to say it, I wish you'll understand. But worse is even when I say it, you still don't get it. How much it means to me, small gestures that light up my day. EVERYTHING MATTERS. Don't you see?I appreciate all the things that you have done but those things that I need most in my moments of pain, can't you do it??Yes, I am having some doubts and problems in my relationship. There's no happy ending or fairytale, just a long road filled with obstacles which leads to a faraway rainbow.
But don't be too eager, bitches and guys interested in me. HAHAHA. I'm nowhere near a break up or anything. There's still too much love that none of us can let go despite any pain that occurs.
I've become so used to you in my life that it's impossible for me to imagine life without you in it.
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&the time is 3:13 PM
posted by Ena ♥
