Being optimistic now? Haha. I do think that teenage years are the most beautiful time in someone's life, when dreams are still growing, and we're still being moulded to determine what we want to do in life.

The speech today reaffirmed my wish to do something special at least once in my life. I don't want to just study study work work marry marry die die.

I want to backpack across Europe. I want to volunteer as a social worker in a poor country. I want to sail across the world for eight months. I want to climb a mountain. I want to explore a jungle.

I'm lucky to have a choice. At least I'm not a dying leper at the side of the street. I have a house. I'm not a victim of sexual abuse. I'm not a fugitive of war. I'm not leading a totally miserable life as say, a Pakistani woman being stoned to death.

Anyhow, I skipped the Safari Membaca. Dorea informed me that on a scale of 1 to 10, it was a 10 for boredom. I have no patience for this kind of thing.

Bla bla, can improve English I also know. But really betahan la. I mean, by the time someone reads a paragraph aloud I would have finished the page. That's why i always talk and not write. Cause faster haha. Some more it's a story everyone know the ending already.

Addicted to Faber Drive's "When I'm With You". It's nice =)

When I'm with you, I'll make every second count 'cause I miss you, whenever you're not around. ♥
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&the time is 2:21 PM
posted by Ena ♥

0 comments

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&the time is 1:36 PM
posted by Ena ♥

A teacher told me today that my blog was very popular in Lodge and they they always spam my blog =.=

Been such a failure lately. Everything is so screwed up. I found my dress, and am going as playboy bunny.

I flunked my exams really really badly, I superglued my phone horribly, and I am literally dying from lack of money.

Depressed sounding? Well, I am. Tonight I have a mooting dinner with some Menteri who will re-give us the prizes. Normally I like dinners but this one must wear uniform.

I am such a psychotic bitch lately. Either I snap people's heads off or go into uncontrollable bouts of anger or just get moody and loser emo. It's PMS. You see, I get PMS like 2 weeks before my period. I only have 1 week every month where I am pain-free, and PMS-free. I hate PMS.

Have been crying buckets lately. I'm sure all my teachers especially Cikgu Lesmy are freaked out by my tears.


Went out last night.

And the night before to Bing's. Here to know.

Tata wish me luck to face my humiliation of failing miserably.
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&the time is 2:49 PM
posted by Ena ♥

Been wondering whether I should delete my blog. Have been going out recently. Went out with John, Alex, Francis, Tan Sri and Shel. Freaking weird la those people. We were all squashed in a Kancil.

Being in love is a nice feeling =)

Being hungry is not =(

I slept over at Shel's and then purchased a dress with Linda. Like I said, really busy until can't blog or do my Chemistry Peka. So busy that I can't even make proper sentences.

♥ in the first degree.
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&the time is 6:26 AM
posted by Ena ♥

From Choral Speaking I've gotten:

• Free trip to Melaka
• Tons of experience
• Better pronounciation and enunciation xD
• How to unite as one voice =)
• Seeing all my friends with their hair up HAHA
• 2 free T-shirts
• A free cap
• TONS of free food from school, government and datuks
• Performing for VIPs

So join while you can =) I'm gonna miss Choral Speaking 2009. We went all the way, we gave it our best, we had a splendid last performance, and this is something that I'll keep in my heart forever. Plus the script is like in my blood now, I know when to move without trying.

Exams over weeeeee~~. Gonna go KBOX, watch at MBO, and eat A LOT. Loves x)
2 comments

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&the time is 6:56 PM
posted by Ena ♥

I never truly appreciated the FREEDOM to go home and nap and watch TV. For the past 3 months I've been going really stressed, always calculating and running facts through my brain, beating myself up if I forget and hating myself if I wasted time, going home only to a book and haven't been eating or sleeping and generally just keep stressing and worrying and crying. Now so FREAKING Free!!!

Life has its ups and downs. There have been downs..but generally this whole year has been one big up! I've got my friends, my love and I can say I did a LOT of things this year! From totally reinventing my image, to being a mirror-obsessed freak, to running up and down from Hall and Bilik Sumber for Robotics/Debate(I miss Sharon and Dorea), Gold Coast(miss it!), being the assistant class monitor(never thought I'd see the day), escaped another year without getting my phone confiscated, and so on and so forth. Failed for the first time too :( but I still can catch up I hope. I do get the gist, I just don't have the time.

Speaking of time, nehnehnehneh we FINISH liao! But you people baru start exam :D haha sure hate me now.

Today Steph said that since next year will be a non-stop hard year, we should make use of this time. Only this time, to have fun in our school life while we still can. This is the last end-of-the-year hols before we finish Form 5 next year. Wah, only last year PMR, now this year is almost over and next year SPM T__T I'm still not used to being in Form 4 already Form 5 liao.

Well, I was thinking, yea we should benefit from these holidays before nest year starts. SO, how should I spend it? So there are no regrets?

1. Go clubbing
2. Get a piercing (I'm talking about a body piercing!)
3. Grow my hair long (wtf boring way to spend holidays)
4. Go crazy wild
5. Spend time at shady places I've never been :D

The To-Do List of a potential budak jahat liao.
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&the time is 9:35 PM
posted by Ena ♥

Sometimes I think, I spend my whole life just trying to prove myself to people. And then I look back, and I wonder what I have achieved in my 16 years?

I've never been pretty, never been popular. Never been talented, never been artistic, or musical, or a boy magnet or anything.

All I've got is academic excellence, which I don't even call brains because it's not really brains. And now, I feel like everything I've worked hard for my whole life is going down the drain.

It's all my own fault, I've never paid attention, but now I feel like I've let myself and everyone down.

This year, no awards, no prizes. No nothing. People will be looking DOWN on me. I used to be smart, now look at me, all DUMBED DOWN.

Everything I have is falling apart. All I have that makes me feel like I am not a complete waste of space, it's all going away, and when that's all gone, I'm just going to be an unsignificant, unimportant blip in this world, with no credit and no achievement to my name.

I am a failure.
2 comments

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&the time is 1:35 AM
posted by Ena ♥

So depressed. I am a failure to society. Cried a lot. Do tag for fun.


01. Do you love anyone?
Got la. I love my friends and my family and so on and so forth..


02. How long do you intend to wait someone you really love?
As long as it will take if I really love him


03. If the person you like is already attached, what will you do?
Wait till they break up? Or move on..


04. If you had a choice, what family would you wish to be born in?
A very rich and considerate family haha


05. Is it fun being tagged?
Yea.


06. What's the 1st thing you do when you wake up?
Check my phone or go back to sleep.


07. What type of friends do you like?
Those who are fun and reliable.


08. What type of people do you dislike?
People who backstab or like to nag too much.


09. If your lover betray you, what will your reaction be?
I would be devastated.


10. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?
Gotta depend on who the two are.


11. Is it more blessed to be loved or to love someone?
To love. Trust me. So much better.


12. Who is the most important person to you?
Hard to say.


13. Would you like to stead with the guy you like?
What's stead??


14. Would you do anything to get the person you like's attention?
Yea..but I would do it subtly la.


15. What will you do if your best friend stead with the guy you liked?
I don't know what's stead!!


16. What will you do if he knows you adore him?
Be very embarassed.


17. Would you wish to go to school everyday ?
kill me 1st .. =.=


18. If you had a dream come true, what will it be?
I get weird dreams like fighting aliens etc


19. Are you confused about what lies ahead of you?
Yes..I wonder what lies ahead.


20. Would you give all in a relationship?
Yea..I would try.


21. What have you been doing these days?
Studying, dying, hanging out


22. Has anyone hated you before?
Yes obviously!


23. What makes you cry today?
Failing Add Maths.


24. Do you think you are pretty?
I think I've been looking better recently. But no, not pretty.


25. Have you enjoyed your holiday?
Any holiday is a good holiday.


26. What makes you feel lost?
Being abandoned.


27.What changes you?
Grief? Love? Etc


28. What if your friend commits suicide?
Stupid question..


29. Money & friends, which is more important?
=.= friends of course


30. If no one seems to care for you, what will you do?
Might as well go die then. Why this tag so emo 1??


31. Did you hurt yourself now?
I don' t get your grammar.


32. What feelings are you having now?
Very depressed.


33. What is your favourite pastime?
Lalalalalalalala.


34. If you hated someone, what will you do?
=.= if he don't hurt me i won't hurt him.


35. Have you considered loving someone?
Considered?!


36. Who makes you happy when you need some comfort?
Miss Susie just messaged me!!! (not answering this question)


37. Are you treasuring yourself?
Nothing to treasure


38. Skipped.
I am so blur now.


39. Name a friend who's name is started "S".
Shelly and Sandra.


40. Who do you trust the most?
It's hard to say.


41. What is the last song you heard?
If I Were A Boy just played.


42. What is the last thing you put in mouth?
Mineral water ..Free!!! from Mr Teo


43. A random person yells at you "Aybaybay", what's your reaction?
I would go WTF


44. What's irritating you at this moment?
I am smelly and haven't bathed


45. Do you curse anyone?
Yes! I curse you!!


46. Last time you took a plane, where was it to?
Kuching? Hahaha


47. Do someone love you?
I would hope so.


48. What's the last thing you bought?
A burger. Before the mineral water.


49. Have you ever cried on your friend's shoulder?
=.= umm...


50. Have you hugged opposite gender before?
Yea.

I tag

Shelly
Adrian
Yin Kii
Kevin
Edith
Clare
Umm, anyone can also:)
1 comments

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&the time is 5:07 PM
posted by Ena ♥

0 comments

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&the time is 11:17 PM
posted by Ena ♥

Sometimes just when you think you have everyhing, and for once life is going your way, you realize it's all a cruel joke, and you wish you were back to the you you were before it all happened. Not talking about exam here.

I'm not lucky. Life isn't perfect after all. It never was, and it never will be.

Having an empty life....sucks. Once you've felt it, just once, and it's taken away, it leaves a hole forever. (Not dirty meaning.)A void which has to be filled. A space in your heart that you feel acutely, but was never there before.

Moral tomorrow.
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&the time is 11:13 PM
posted by Ena ♥

Exam. Chemistry tomorrow. Die. Flunked everything. BM, Add Math, Sej, ENGLISH.

I will die.

1 more week.

Love u.
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&the time is 10:14 PM
posted by Ena ♥

this ena liew is CLASSIC, she's a wannabe ah lien. ohmygod, who wants to be ah lien? oh wait...that ena liew. -.-

Who wants to be an ah lien? I do!! Ah liens make bold fashion statements and are loud and not timid and shy like society's norms for women. They are vain, meaning they take care of how they look. They are aware of the stares, but they want to be different. Just like some people dye their hair blue or green!

There are negative attitude perceptions associated with ah liens of course. Smokers, swearers, slutty, bimbo. Bla bla. Just like how emo people are considered suicidal.

So if you wear umm, say green ah lien eyeshadow, you're a bimbo.

If you wear black, you're suicidal.

Ohhhhkay.

I acknowledge that most ah liens we see at kaki lima and all are rude and brash and vulgar. But I still respect their fashion sense all the same rofl.

But if you judge ME as a bimbo
just because I pose for pictures at an angle, then you yourself is as shallow as
an ah lien for judging people.

• If I see a girl online who says she applies her eyeliner from out to in instead of in to out... can I say she's noob and therefore must be ugly as she uses makeup wrong?
• I hate insects. If I hear of a guy who eats insects, do I say I hate that guy like shit?

Nope. I don't. So the line "I hate ah liens!" is one of the stupidest things someone could ever say.

Is Paris Hilton an ah lien? Yep. Do I wanna be her? Hell yes.

Am I a bimbo because I like to camwhore when I look good? Well, let me be cocky too. Facts are I am a straight A student and I'm a magazine sub editor and I'm on a team that won a trip to Austalia. Ok? Bimbo enough?

Sure the way I pose can be a source of your dislike. Just like I dislike glasses.

Let me be Girl A. Girl A hates ah liens. She sees me. This is the sequence
of thoughts in her brain:

"Ena poses vainly. Therefore she is ah lien and a bimbo. I hate ah liens.
Therefore I dislike her."

Another circumstance:

"Girl A wears glasses. Therefore she is a nerd and boring. I hate nerds.
Therefore I dislike her."

Kinda unreasonable la? Hmmmm.. I hate nerds could be the next I hate ah lien.

That's all, I'm gonna retire from blogging till the 19 th. I'm 15 and 266 days today!!

Update:

I'm not accusing anyone of wearing glasses as a nerd. I hate discrimination the most, and I sure as hell don't want to stoop there. Anyway, I wear glasses too.

Anyhow, an ah lien is indeed a rude, brash, boldly dressed and uneducated girl by definition. I like their fashion sense (coloured skinnies, wedges) but not their attitude problems. Still, if you want to classify someone as an ah lien in an insulting context, at least get to know the way she behaves and walks first.

I'm pretty lifeless to go blog about someone who insulted me actually =.= but I don't delete posts so I admit it's pretty stupid to blog about you.

But looking at a random person's pictures on the internet and immediately insulting and judging someone is equally bad. It was just me, not me doing anything really horrible like in a very slutty outfit or smoking. Plus, I was a total stranger.

Anyhow, since you apologised, I'm gonna apologise too if I insulted you back too, which is pretty immature.

3 comments

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&the time is 10:20 PM
posted by Ena ♥

Capital L Loser

For one, this is my blog. I can blog as much about you as I want.

But you? Oh Freak, don't think you have the right to comment on my blog as you want. Isn't it pathetic? Your face is so thick man, people already ask you to leave yet you still stay here..just shows that you're the kind of Freak who has no life, no friends, no hobby, and was born for no reason.

Anyhow you desperado, I understand your fixation on me. After all I'm way prettier than you. How do I know I'm prettier than you?

Well, if you were better-looking than me, then you would be out with your friends. Your parents and teachers would love you. But sadly, you are so ugly that you have no friends and your parents hate you so you have nothing to do but insult me.

To be honest, sorry but you're fugly

There are only three reasons why you would choose to devote your time and energy to me:

• You are jealous of my looks, my life, my friends.
• You worship me, you are obsessed with me.
• You're bored and dumb and have nothing to do because you have no life.

Guess what you fugly freak? Get your dirty minded lifeless ass off my blog. Please don't siasoi yourself anymore lah. Get a life, get a blog, get your own friends.

You really need a life. If you want to be friends, you can email me la. I'm sympathetic towards freaks like you.

If you got a problem with me or my attitude, tell me to my face. But stupid bitch comments which don't even make sense? Shows your OWN attitude problem. AFRAID OF ME is it?

Admit it, you're jealous of me, hence you sanggup insult me. I'm honoured and all. Do you realize all the world can see is YOUR weird comments on MY blog? All you are is a bunch of insignificant retarded comments on Miss Ena Liew's blog.

For God's sake you post ANONYMOUS COWARD HATE MAIL on my Cbox. Sounds smart much? You got the FREEDOM TO BITCH, but bitch to my face can? Anonymous lame names just proves your worthlessness. Anyhow,

Unless you have something nice to say,keep
your damn mouth shut.

Devote all your time to me is up to you, but at the end of the day, it's my blog and you better apologise. Remember to say sorry you psycho and cry a bit then I will forgive you.

Comment some more, I will delete. HA! My blog, my rights. Fuck off you retard. XOXO

Oh and if you don't like my blog, no need read. Why come back and keep reading? Just go home and cry you coward. HAHA.

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&the time is 9:53 PM
posted by Ena ♥