Shel and I in Malacca




Anyway, exam is really soon. Some people are pissed that just for an extra thousand, (Choral Speaking performance), the school is lengthening the exam time. Since I love Choral Spekaing I don't mind, but a long exam sucks.

Been very vain lately too. Very tired and never going to finish my studying =(

A random opinion. Clare and I are different in that she like the natural look while I prefer looking obvious. Natural means you can look beautiful because you were born that way and didn't try at all. But I like looking like I tried my best to look good, I put in an effort and a lot of time and energy in my appearance.

My new obsession: Growing out my hair and a nose job xD

So tired that can't even form complete sentences. Exam and birthday clashes =(

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&the time is 2:04 PM
posted by Ena ♥

I promised I wouldn't blog but here I am. Haha I just set up a new blog on tumblr. I love tumblr, all the blogs are so beautiful.







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&the time is 10:23 PM
posted by Ena ♥

My computer can go die already. It keeps restarting by itself.

I can go die already. I wish I could restart everything.

Firstly, I haven't been studying. It's freaking 2 weeks from my finals. I've been going out a lot. I love putting on makeup and going shopping. Especially since half the population of school has been going to Spring. I'm serious, it's now like my 2nd home.

Apart from that, me and my heart got issues. Wait, me and my fucking brain has issues. My phone has issues. My PC has issues.

I want to die already. I hate my PC. I hate my phone. I hate that I am broke. I hate that I am short. I hate that I lost my IC. I hate that my exams are near. I hate Blogger.

I hate myself. I only hurt others and I am selfish. I don't know why I'm here, hurting people who don't deserve to be hurt.

I know I'm emo. I know emo people are hell annoying an dshould go jump off a building. I know I haven't been blogging a lot. I know it's stupid that you finally get what you've always wanted, but then realize you never wanted it at all, and now there's no way to turn back.

It's like I've wanted boob implants all my life and when I get them, I don't want them anymore. But in that case, should I rip off my implants it would only hurt myself. Not others.

On a lighter note, I am goign to revamp my style. I am only going to wear feminine dresses from now on. By the way, visit this blogshop, cheap and NICE.

Wish me luck for exams! Will blog more soon. Love you all. (As you can see,without anger, sarcasm, political venting, bitching or camwhoring, I am pretty boring.)

xoxo
Ena
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&the time is 12:16 AM
posted by Ena ♥

I'm bored and it's morning and I have exams but I'm sitting in front of the computer and NOT STUDYING WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME HUH!!!

THIS IS THE FREAKING FINALS FOR GODS' SAKE!!

Apart from that, I paling hate people who don't want to ID themselves on Facebook or whatshit. Guess who I am? Guess la. I am human la. Bla bla.

Go suck my balls you fuckface. I no time to play around guessing with you. I only do that with CUTE guys?! You don't want ID yourself is it? Then stop bothering me. I block you, because I can. HAHAHAHA.

Okay, that aside, I want to blog about something totally random. You know sometimes I don't know why others like to give people a hard time because of their bodies. I bet some people are just jealous that others have the discipline to diet and they don't. Even if it's unhealthy so? Which leads me to, I don't feel that anorexia or bullimia is such a huge problem.

True, it endangers the health of young teenage girls. But like Britney, she says she throws up because it makes her feel better about herself. It's not good la, obviously.

But what about smoking le? It is also a form of self-harming what. Smoking even worse okay. Lemme tell you why.

Bullimia/Anorexia:

• A good way to lose weight (haha)
• Can look better
• Free
• Can make teens feel better after binging or feeling fat or whatsoever
• Something that makes teens feel in control

Smoking:

• Makes you stink and look yellow
• Expensive
• Mahuan
• Health effects way worse
• The smoke can harm others not just yourself
• Is an eyesore as it is committed in public

But both not good for health. Don't try this at home.HAHA.
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&the time is 2:18 AM
posted by Ena ♥

Exam is 18 days away and here I am, haven't even started opening the books. This is the FINALS. Normally I would be hard at work. Sobs.

Nevertheless, had a fun day today. Leo Orientation at Swinburne was fun, it was very interactive and we sang a lot. Shelly and I proceeded to inflict psychological damage to some of the unfortunate poor fellows around. We then walked to Spring, our whole group, Leos from our school and St Jo's and others. It was a good orientation, I loved it. I was dressed in appropriately though.

We purchased tickets for "Where Got Ghost", only Shelly and I as Clare and Linda had tuition. We chose couple seats. There were a few couples around, Amanda and hers and Danielle and hers. I wish he was there.

Sorry but I would willingly trade Shelly for him. Shelly was so freaking les to me all along! She was holding me in ways that I didn't think was normal. She was so horrified by the horror movie that she screamed my eardrums out. It was s super lame! It wasn't even scary!! Immanuel who was sitting in front of us was laughing at us. I never want to go MBO again. All your fault Shelly!

After that we walked around and sat here and there gossiping about this and that. Saw a lot of people today seriously, but we were PALAT-ed by Fred and Wong. I can't wait to go again.

After exam, when KBox is open. Salivating now. KARAOKE MAN!!!! WORDS ON A SCREEN TO SING ALONG!!!

No pictures today because I look fugly.
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&the time is 10:48 PM
posted by Ena ♥

I am not a constructive criticism person.

In fact, I am a go-fuck-yourself-if-you-dare-disgrace-my-beautiful-and-divine-self person.

Which means, I AM PRETTY. I AM SMART. I AM PERFECT. MY FRIENDS ARE PERFECT. Unless I say so with my divine right to make everything MY WAY because this is MY BLOG.

So, yeah, keep your opinions to yourself bitch, nobody's here to listen to you, remember this is my blog? People flock here to read raptly everything I choose to write here. Please do not poser my friends' names again you retarded lifeless stalker. If you nothing better to do other than stalk me, then I can only advice you to purchase a vibrator to spice up your mediocre life in which you are so obviously jealous of my beautiful appearance (TAKE THAT!)

Ok, I am not that vain la. Haha but I am pretty sure this stalker ain't no beauty queen. Preferably the kind who used to be a male but got his male organ chopped off in Thailand by a sicko mom and a daughter-raping dad.

So Miss Stalker, please la, grow a cibai, or go get a dick implant.

Can find me after school if you want if you're who I think you are.
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&the time is 11:40 PM
posted by Ena ♥

Grrrrrrr I do have a few problems la. I feel so gnawed by guilt right now.

First off, I insulted the wrong person. Worse, this person has always been nice to me. I mean, she is reasonable and nice, I'm her friend yet I go and post stuff up which just shows I didn't appreciate it. Feel bad.

Secondly, I love Mdm E. HAHAHA and I love Mr T too. Can't wait for the dinner :)

Thirdly, I take no offence at anything!! I am so full of guilt now :(

Might as well go die T.T

Ok, now that is a bit emo/annoying...
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&the time is 8:14 PM
posted by Ena ♥

I have never felt prettier in my life. I was a wreck a few months ago but now (I don't care if I sound vain, I know got people prettier, but on my standards I am chio), I have really high self confidence.






No prefects will take that away. Take away my feeling good about myself.

Saying you cannot wear black lenses is really illogical.

My iris is black. I am Asian. My iris is black. It always has been. I am not changing my iris's colour. I am merely enlarging my iris.



If enlarge size also cannot, then go catch the girls who wear push up bras. Enlarge cannot ba.

I am not changing my appearance in any way. I am not wearing blue contacts or anything. I am not painting my nails.

Why can't I wear black contact lenses? That's equivalent to saying:

I dyed my hair black yesterday. So you demerit me because I dyed my hair.

And how come, some people can wear them and have for years and I can't? Because my eyes are small and therefore it gets obvious?

Well, anyhow, my iris is black, my lens are black, so you can't prove that I'm actually wearing them. So if you're a prefect reading this, I gotta say:

Don't believe everything you read on the internet.


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&the time is 9:34 PM
posted by Ena ♥

Very busy doing the Form 5 testimonial right now. The editors have exams tomorrow so Steph and I are helping out.

Next year I hope my testimonial goes "Wacky, radical and interesting, this pint-sized overachiever has big dreams and never fails to light up the class with her insane jokes. She also loves to talk and write."

Or even "Even though this girl is small, never mess with her because she can kick butts with her sharp tongue. Besides that, she dazzles others with her supreme aura."

Okay, overkill liao. HAHAHA.

I have an overactive menstrual cycle T_T.

I miss things the way they were before things got complicated. Back when things were so simple. Now it's all mind games and wondering, what do I mean to you? Do you want me? And if you do, am I a first choice or what? If you do, can't you show it? But even if you show it, I won't show it back. Because well, welcome to MIND GAMES.

Mind games suck dick.
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&the time is 10:53 AM
posted by Ena ♥

I'm insanely cheerful and as cuckoo as a bird. But inside me, I'm all mixed up. Don't know what's my problem la.

It's like I really want to eat the strawberries on my brother's birthday cake (today is his birthday.) My brother hates strawberries, and I really want them, but I keep forcing him to eat them. It hurts me when I make him eat them because I really want them too. But when I actually do get a lick, I find I don't really want to eat it anymore. I'm not sure if I should continue forcing my brother to eat it, or just don't care and take a bite of my ex-coveted fruit even though I'm not into it anymore, or just put it back on the cake and pretend I never wanted to eat it.



Ok, get it? That summarizes my feelings in a nutshell. now I don't know should I just eat the freaking strawberry or just leave it there. I've always lusted for it but I've also always tried to push it to my brother. But now he's made it clear he really doesn't want it. Should I just force him just because it's always been what I do or just grab it for myself? But it feels weird. I should put it back on the fucking cake.

I've always been screaming and blushing a LOT. Like, seriously annoying the creeps out of my classmates.

Apart from that, I have been unceremoniously dumped by a friend for no apparent reason. No reason was given when I asked. I still don't know wtf happened, was I framed, etc, but I conform 100% it wasn't something I said or did as I was always polite and never backstabbed this person. Like, seriously. Well, it's not the first time. Someone I know hates me for no apparent reason seeing as I barely talk to her at all.

Rumors. Suckers believe rumors. Don't judge me before you know me. I may seem like an airhead, bimbo, bitch, but let me tell you that you haven't begun to peel off the top layers of my personality.

If you can't stand to break open a crab shell to get to the inside, then don't even bother. Similarly, go ahead and try tuak if you want, it's very sweet but the aftertaste is bitter and bites.

Pick. If you don't want to be my friend, then you're not worthy to be my friend. You're not worthy to judge me before you've even met me. Compare a cheap popsicle which is colourful and cute and say a solid chocolate ice cream, which one is more attractively garish and which one is the real deal?

Eh wait...why do I have so many FOOD METAPHORS IN MY ENTRY???
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&the time is 10:18 PM
posted by Ena ♥

I would like to share with you my first angry memory. It's a bit sick. I think I was maybe 5 or 6.

I was at the 4 and a half mile Everrise and I was with my parents, while drinking a bottle of free Vitagen. I was just walking happily drinking my wonderful drink when this dark fat girl of about 8 or 9 and her dad walked by.

She grabbed the Vitagen from me and dunked it all down and then threw it on the floor where it almost splashed up on some clothes racks. I stood stock still, shocked. I only grabbed her dress but by the time I regained my marbles she was far away. Her dad gave her a stern look.

My mum consoled me by telling em the poor little girl probably had been jealous of me drinking Vitagen, she was still young, etc.

At that moment, all I wanted was to reverse the moment and actually have grabbed her hair, pinched her till she bled and gauge out her fat ugly eyeballs and wait for her stupid dark face to be STOMPED under my foot. I fumed for ages about this. I had never known anger like this before. I still remember the colour of the Vitagen (purple), my outfit (brown and polka dots), her Dad's motorcycle helmet, her ugly paisley flower dress.

My first angry memory, still fresh in my mind. Guess what, now after 10 years, I still feel the same.

I still want to crush her up. ANGER MANAGEMENT I know. Haha.
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&the time is 10:35 PM
posted by Ena ♥

I wished I had skipped the seminar. The guy is good and I learnt a lot of useful tips but 4 hours in a hot hall, in UNIFORM ON A WEEKDAY? Okay, I'm getting indignant.

Final Destination 4 is so funny man. It was only 1 hour 15 minutes, waste my Rm 9 only. There's this guy who died by getting his butt sucked out by a pool drainage hole. ILLOGICAL!

A lot of things are happening to me. I've come in touch with some feelings that are inappropriate. No, i am not turning lesbo.

Anyway, just a short update here. DO you realize that we are not allowed to change the colour of our eyes, hair, nails? We can't personalize our headbands. We only have freedom in our watches and earrings. We can't even get tattoos.

Sometimes I very BETAHAN adults who go how students shouldn't date. WHY NOT? Love know no boundaries. If it comes, let it come.

We are students, means we not human ka?

Ben cursing waaay too much.
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&the time is 10:27 PM
posted by Ena ♥

Oh look , there are more. Seriously this kid doesn't know what are cops or what?

Well, what's he trying to do? Degrade me?

Because all the world sees of him/her are his insignificant, broken English comments in my cbox which make people go "Oh, that loser's just a huge fan of Ena and all he can do is insult her to make himself look cool."

But all people see is a clingy loser who LOVES ME SO MUCH he stalks my blog. He obviously enjoys me SOOO much, contrary to what he says. Or else, why would he be here so much?

How sweet. I wouldn't mind some gifts occasionally, maybe a nice Memory Lane keychain would do well.

What a ball-less freak. Poor dude. His parents probably sodomized him/her that's why he/she had no friends and got stunned by my captivating intellect and beauty so that's why he/she has been clinging onto me so much.

Awwww, how touching. What are you going to do?

Drop more sweet comments?

Come "find" me?

Threaten me more?

Message me calling me kindergarten names?

Sure, go ahead, talk your mouth out, haha, in the end my friends will still be with me and in the end all you get is a crushed heart from me not loving you back.

See ya loser. Stalk me more, shows how PATHETIC and WANNABE you are. Desperate for a friend? Awwww.
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&the time is 1:59 AM
posted by Ena ♥

As you can see, a loser has been stalking me in my cbox. Obviously this loser has no friends and will probably never get laid and has been reduced to only being able to wank in front of a computer screen to the insanely BEAUTIFUL picture of me, and stalking every detail of my INCREDIBLY perfect life.

Okay, let me resume where I got cut off. At 2.26 pm 082368738 called me and with this whiny falsetto started to whine about being the one on my blog. My mum ripped it off him/her and screamed at her. He/she then hung up, due to lack of guts and just a general sense of loserishness.

He/she sounds like either a

1. tomboy
2. ah gua

because that is not a normal voice. It's either a guy who sounds like a girl (hence cannot get laid), or it is a girl who envies my beautifully proportionate body and extremely well-endowed brain.

I can imagine a tomboy cho lo kind of girl who is really dark, fat and lugs around with a lumpy bulge on her tummy and has to wear sweatpants all the time because there aren't jeans for her. I mean, only traumatised people who can't wear nice clothes do these stuff.


If it's a guy, I can imagine him having a face full of pimples, a nasal girly voice and a stuttering kind of voice and who is skinny and really ugly with a penis inflicted by a severe bout of rash. It's not herpes because this guy hasn't seen more action than a porn flick on his computer screen. That's why he's gonna grow up to be a pedophile or rapist. Seriously, people like that should be euthanised at birth. I'm sure he had pimples and a suspiciously infectious wiener at birth.



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&the time is 6:33 PM
posted by Ena ♥