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Thursday, August 13, 2009
A Clean Slate
Sometimes I am such a bitch. Some things are just a game but I take it too much as a competition. You know me. Urgh ok I hate it when people give excuses like, "Aiya, you know me la."

I get too obsessed and carried away and get all competitive and scowling and a bad sport, and I hope I did not over act today. By the way baby kissed me twice on the cheek today!

I'm talking about Robotics, we had a friendly competition aimed for fun today. i care none for the money or even the merit marks, but I only care for the 'muka'. Flunked Moral BADLY.

Sometimes I wonder how guys can be so brave. I appreciate their efforts. It takes guts to confess feelings to someone. I would never be able to do it. I afraid will lose 'face'.

Anyway, back to the title of my post. It's not too late. To wipe it all clean. I know I've said this many times before, but this time I really want to just start over.

So many things have happened to me this year, some are the best things that have ever happened to me (i.e. falling in love and going to Australia) and the worst (getting my heart broken and coming back to Malaysia). I just want to get it all over. I want to forgive and forget all the bad things that have happened, all the people who were horrible to me, I will try to forgive and forget. I will let go of the past no matter how great it was, I will let go of both the sweet and the bitter, because the past is the past and I can't go on living it.

I am going to wipe the slate clean today, 2 months from my 16th birthday. I always wanted my 16th to mark a milestone in my life, but now all I want is just to be able to live my life without all this baggage. I can't have a minute to myself, I can't stay awake in bed for a minute, I can't daydream out of a car window, without all this complicated things spiralling in my head. I want to be able to type a proper blog entry, read a proper book, watch a proper TV show, without being plagued by any thoughts of the past and getting all emo.

It's a new start.

2 comments

&the time is 2:37 PM
posted by Ena ♥