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Thursday, May 7, 2009
I'm So Scared
This cold dread in my stomach. It's getting bigger and bigger. I'm so scraed. about Add Maths. I really don't want to fail. But I just found out that a certain classmate of mine just got 20 marks for her Paper 2. And normally, at most I'm just like 5 marks ahead of her. What does that mean?
What did I get?
25?
15?
I'm scared shitless here.
I can imagine when Ms. Chung walks into the class on Thursday.
Blank stares full of accusation.
Deathly silence.
Instead of the normal bustle "Teacher who got highest??""Teacher what I get?"
None of that. Just silence and the need to run into a hole and hide.
And when I get it back, I'm not going to look at it. I will just keep it in my bag. I will smile and close my ears to the people comparing their marks and asking for mine. I won't give it to other people to see because I can see their expression. I will feel tempted to ask if I got as low as I expected. I don't even care about correcting in case there are any. Since a few marks won't ease my pain. I know I will have to see it, when I get back my report card or when I'm checking my marks.
This is the first time I have not jumped up and down excitedly and curiously about an exam result. NEVER. I'm always eager to get it back. Only now, I really really don't want it back.
I can imagine the paper in my bag, taunting me, just a ticking time bomb in my bag..
This is driving me crazy.
Oh please please please please just make this nightmare go away oh please please please.

1 comments

&the time is 6:23 PM
posted by Ena ♥